Smash News: Another Death Again Today
by Bananajesus
Summary: The trashy realism of life. We all die one day. Either by old age, ourselves, or by chance. No one is safe from this disease called death. No matter how perfect you think you are, you are falliable like the rest of us. Day and day again, we all keep dying in a circle until we stop reproducing and no longer classify as living things... Series of One shots revolving around death.
1. Game&Watch

**AN: ****I felt like creating short stories revolving around death, so every Smasher will get to die atleast once from the oldest franchise to the youngest. Basically, Mr. Game&amp;Watch to Gregninja. Yes, Roy, Mewtwo and other previous Smashers will get their own chapter. So, 55-ish chapters, yep, this will be fun.**

**This set of oneshots will contain weird, cruel, and angsty ways to die, I will warn you ahead of time. I'm trying to write possible ways to die so future suicides and rapes, so read at your own risk. Also, It won't be too gory, enough to here it's T unless I'm near the last chapters.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

_**I don't own SSB and all characters belong to their respective owner.**_

_The trashy realism of life. We all die one day. Either by old age, ourselves, or by chance. No one is safe from this disease called death. No matter how perfect you think you are, you are falliable like the rest of us. Day and day again, we all keep dying in a circle until we stop reproducing and no longer classify as living things. Life continues on even if we are not alive anymore. We are not important, we are not large, we play a small role in a game we call life and how we end this game varies significantly as to not make the same mistakes again for our more prone brethren._

_Drink a glass today, today you may die from an unspeakable act of murder or stupidity, possibly jealously or laziness, or maybe perhaps from traitorous friends and unseen things. Whatever it is, drink your fill of the glass of life. It can be given and taken away in the blink of an eye. The beauty of our lives is our deaths, oh, how we wish to go out remembered and written in history,but the likelihood of that happening is extremely unlikely and your life would be remembered by few or forgotten completely. Enjoy it while you can because we'll be waiting to hear about your death on the news as the same old murder or unusual, but funny death._

**Mr. Game&amp;Watch: A Misunderstanding**

_"Beep, boop, beep."_

"God damn it Mr. Game and Watch! Please let me sleep tonight!" groaned a very tired Snake.

The second dimensional character continued beeping around until it finally went to bed. Snake sighed in relief until he heard the flat character's snores. He then put a pillow over his head, hoping it would block out the sound and maybe suffocate him while at it.

"Woah, Snake, wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Samus smirked. Snake always had a soft spot for the blonde woman. He enjoys her company and her laughter. Snake would always try to be nice and woo her heart, but today was not the day.

Snake gave her an irritated looked, "That Watch would not shut up last time."

Samus narrowed her eyes, "Really? He's a very quiet and reserved fellow."

"uh-huh, that's a lie. He beeps nonstop when he's in our bedroom. And also he carries around this weird book around that I believe is an 'adult' magazine."

"Really, now?" Samus's voice held a sarcastic tone, "Have you ever looked into this forsaken book?"

"erm... no..." Snake rubbed the back of his head.

"Well there ya go." Samus sighed, "Try to get to know the guy before you make assumptions about him."

"...Fine." Snake groaned "I'll try to talk to him at lunch."

Samus smiled "Good."

Later that day, Snake looked around for MGW around the cafeteria. He saw Marth, Jiggylypuff and Link with bolanga on his face. What were they even doing? Link was making beeping noises and it was pretty amusing. He shook his head, no sign of MGW. Does that figure even need food to survive? Snake shook his head nd sighed in defeat. He'll talk to him later.

Snake turned and left the cafeteria.

MGW's light bulb flashed. He closed his book and laid it down on his bed. He quickly got out of his room and went to find Samus.

Snake frowned, Mr. Game&amp;Watch hasn't been in their room for a week, nor has he seen Samus. He didn't bother touching the book on MGW's bed so it has been there, waiting for its master to open it up. Snake finally had enough of this game and went to find the two.

"Hey, Snake." Falco waved as Snake zipped pass him, "Wow, you're pissed off about something. What's wrong?"

Snake stopped, "Do you know where &amp;Watch is?"

Falco's face twisted, trying to remember, "Well, I have seen &amp;Watch and Samus spending a lot of time with each other after matches behind the stadium... He also has been buying gifts for her, but that was yesterday though... Wait! I think he's in the meadow, picking flowers!"

"Thanks." Snake spoke gruffly and went over to the meadows.

So the son of a bitch has been messing with his girl! How dare he! He will pay. He prepared a gun and raged towards the meadow.

Soon enough, he did see the black figure. Suddenly, all of his hatred and disgusted feelings covered his eyes and he couldn't see. MGW noticed him and waved friendly. "_Beep, boop._"

"I hate you!" Snake growled. MGW flinched and froze in fear. "Everything you do, every time I see you, you're a low life figure and damn annoying at first! Can't you see no one understands all that beeping shit?! Learn English for God's sake! You're not even worth it you annoying piece of shit!

And you also been seeing Samus haven't you!? You know my feeling for her, but I guess you had a death wish, son. " Snake pulled the gun out and aimed at MGW malice stained his eyes, "I'll end your irrelevant life, right here, bitch."

Snake pulled the trigger, deafening sound cracked the calm sky. Snake dropped the gun and began to kick and beat MGW's body until it became an undefinable pulp. Once he finished, his eyes widened in shock at what he just done.

"Snake?..." Samus called out the murderer's name.

When Snake was taken away, he noticed the book on MGW's bed was open. He read the title of the page, regret swarmed him and nearly drowned him.

_**The Plan to Get Snake and Samus Together**_

_Because he is a great guy and deserves a great girl._

Samus glared at Snake, her eyes cold and harsh. Her thoughts about Snake were wrong too...

**AN: All future stories will vary in length so one might be long and another short. Just giving you a heads up. Also, I can't Game&amp;Watch, end of story.**

**Questions:**

Have you ever judged a book by its cover?

Did you get the _Mean Girls_ reference? ;)


	2. Pac-Man

**Warning:**

**Gore, Death, &amp; Cannibalism**

* * *

_Life's full of dumb and common sense choices isn't it? However, in our heads, we know the answer and this answer we know is our fate, our destiny, whether good or bad. We take it it in and take it out, no returns. Simple fact in life, nothing is free; there is a cost to everything. Whether from buying shoes or watching TV, there is a cost big and small._

_We mistakenly disguise greed by pleasure and satisfaction. It's a genuine, honest mistake. Though we keep on repeating these same mistakes until this new found pleasure is becomes guilt-free. Live your life today and I assure you will make choices today, trivial and just plain stupid choices. The only thing that really matters is the effect of these choices._

**Pac-Man: Thoughts Drive Hunger**

_Chomp, chew, gulp, sigh_. Such a delicious delicacy of fruits and ghosts.

Smacking gums, a deep thought, a very thoughtful thought overcasted inside the mind.

Can one possibly eat other things then fruit and spirits?

Yawning lazily, I shall try tomorrow if this hypothesis is true.

_Chomp, chew, gulp, smack_. Such a delicious delicacy of vegetables and meat.

Smacking gums, a deep thought, a very thoughtful thought overcasted inside the mind.

Can one possibly eat inanimate objects without dying?

Yawning lazily, I shall try tomorrow and test if this hypothesis is true.

_Chomp, chew, gulp, crack_. Such a delicious delicacy of chairs and lamps.

Smacking gums, a deep thought, a very thoughtful thought overcasted inside the mind.

Can one possibly eat a living human?

Yawning lazily, it's my decision to select my test subject.

Now I have to select wisely, who is befitting to answer this hideous question?

The upright and walking creatures would be no different from the animals they derived from.

The swordsmen seem to be stringy, except Ike who would seem to be a prize on the platter, however, he will attract unwanted attention if brought up missing.

I wouldn't dare consume the plumbers for their **disgusting** job.

The Goddess and Princesses will be noticed if they are missing, however, there is one.

**She will do nicely. **

I licked my lips and fell into my slumber, dreaming of the Celestial Princess.

_Chomp, chew, gulp, __shiver_. Such a frightening delicacy of innocent beauty.

Smacking gums, a deep thought, a very thoughtful thought overcasted in the mind.

Can one possibly taste different from the others?

Yawning lazily, I dream of my next test subject, her imaginary flavors stabbing onto my tongue.

_Chomp, chew, gulp, thumping_. Such a delicious delicacy of the future.

Smacking gums, a deep thought, no, a **dark desire**.

I will be the one to taste my fellow competitor's true flavors.

Yawning lazily, my dream of desire is in the shape of a nightmare.

_Screams, clawing, flailing, thud_. Ah, such a delicious display of a bloody mess.

Smacking gums, dark desires overflowed into my mouth.

It's not the killing, it's the eating that makes me feel **truly alive**.

I don't care if they mark me as a murderer, I'm a connoisseur.

My hungry belly bellows for more.

I shall not ignore this plea, this is my destiny.

I am to be allowed to taste everyone's flavors, **no one is allowed to deny me from eating**.

_Shouting, gurgling, chomp, gasping_. Such a delicious delicacy of warm meat.

I had everyone prepared in almost every way: broiled, grilled, baked, steamed.

But my favorite way of eating meat is **raw**,

Living, screaming, fresh, warm blood and body organs.

A grin protruded onto my lips, such a delicious catastrophe.

_Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble_. **Everyone is gone**.

_Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble_. My body aches **for more**.

_Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble_. I've eaten everyone, but **myself**.

_**Drip, drip, drip, drip...  
**_

* * *

**AN: ****For anyone who didn't get this, it's basically Pac-Man eating innocently at first and slowly becoming insane and he eats Rosalina first, then Lucina, then everyone else. ;D He then eats himself at the end. '-'**

**Hopefully, this isn't too gory, which I tried not to make it that way... Also, I don't know why it's written in a weird free verse style, but I think it was able to convey its meaning okay...**

**So, anyone want to play Pac-Man? I suddenly have the urge too... Also, how do you interpret the story or interpret Pac-Man's choices? The meaning?(SYMBOLISM,ALLUSIONS,****oh English class, how you affect my writing now...) ****Whatever it is that you decide to do now is beyond me. Just remember...**

_**It's your choice.**_


End file.
